摘 要

本文研究了中美的家庭观的差异，分析了中美家庭结构的差异，以及中美家庭关系的差异，并且比较了中美的家庭相处模式的差异，还有去比较中美对各自家庭态度的不同.还分析了中美家庭观有差异的种种原因并对其进行比较。本文比较了中美历史文化背景差异，生活习惯差异以及个人观念的差异。最终，我们知道随着世界的文化融合，了解中西方的文化差异以及跨文化的交流对社会的进步有很大的作用，也有利于很好的跨文化交际。

关键词：家庭观; 关系; 孩子; 教育

CONTENTS

1. Introduction 1

2. Concept of family values 1

3. Differences of family values. 2

3.1 Family relationship 2

3.2 Different attitudes to education 4

4. Reasons for differences of values 6

5. Conclusion 8

Works Cited....................................................................................................................9

Bibliography 10

A Comparative Study of the Cross-Cultural Differences of

Sino-American Family Values

1 Introduction

The family is the basic unit of society. The behavior of family members and the habits of life always have many influences on family values. With the increasingly close communication between China and the United States, the two countries have gradually shown more and more differences of family values. Family values also belong to a kind of culture. As is known to us all, the differences of family values have a great influence on the cross-cultural communication. Through researching on this topic, according to the analysis of differences and reasons, and then analyzing the differences between Chinese and United States, we can promote understanding between China and the United States and understand the differences between Chinese and United States culture. We need to draw lessons from American family values and improve ours. There are many differences between China and America in terms of family values because of the differences of cultural background, living habits and sense of value. We can understand the two countries’ cultural values through finding the differences between Chinese and American family values, which is useful to strengthen cross-cultural communication. This paper wants to compare the Chinese and American educational and relationships views under the cross-cultural background of China and the United States to understand the differences of family values between the two countries and to enhance cross-cultural communication.

2 Concept of family values

Values mean that people have some points of view based on the understanding of all things. Family values are the personal views, attitudes and beliefs about family affairs. It is also an evaluation of the family's standard and it can affect family life and family affairs. Family values are point of views, attitudes and beliefs related to family relations, the relationship between husband and wife, parent-child relationship and other family or marital relations. That is to say， the family values can be divided into family relationships, marriage values and educational values and so on. This paper just takes the two major concerns in family values as follows, that is family relationships and educational values.

Chapter 3 Differences of family values.

3.1 Family relationship values

In China, home is a huge family organization based on the father's blood, which is an extended family. In the past, Chinese always choose to live with their parents, and they think this is filial piety. Now, many Chinese parents also think that their sons or daughters should live with them. They want family members to live together in harmony. They think that a family is a group, and they need to be dependent on each other. In Chinese families, men are the leaders of the family. In the traditional Chinese family, men have a lot of responsibilities. They get married to perform the duties of reproducing the offspring and so the wife actually is not so important. In the past, a man must go out to earn money to support their families, and the women need to stay at home to care for the family, including washing, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the children, as well as other chores. Women are not allowed to go out to earn money. Now more and more women choose to go out to work, but it is hard to be accepted that women go out to earn money for the family and men stay at home. About the marriage of Chinese men and women, it has always been a very serious problem all the time. Since ancient times, the status of women in marriage is really low in China. Men and women do not have the same attitude towards marriage. Traditionally, Chinese think that marriage is for having a son to carry on his family name. About how to get along with each other between husband and wife, Chinese advocate consistent trust and understanding, and mutual tolerance, mutual care. In Chinese marriage, the man is in the leading position and the wife should listen to her husband's arrangement. In the past, the wives are completely attached to her husband's life, so they do have no status in marriage. However, with the development of the society, the modern Chinese women have their own status and they are advocating equality between men and women. As a result, divorce rate is getting higher and higher. After all, Chinese people are still relatively traditional, most Chinese people still think that even if they have marriage problems, divorce is not a good choice for them. As a wife, they are more of a mother, they think they should choose their own marriage and family because of their children. And Chinese men believe that they are more fit to be leaders than their wives in marriage. They also assume the responsibility of supporting their family. There is no doubt that the wives need to take care of the children, which seems to have become a habit forever. When Chinese women get married and have a child, quite a few of them choose to resign and then take care of the children at home and educate their children. Walking in the streets of China, we always see the children are caring by mother. Chinese parents and elders are afraid of not fully taking care of their children, so they pay much attention to their children and always give a full range of protection of children. Finally, it makes Chinese children be more difficult to be independent of their parents.

We all know that America has been in the pursuit of freedom and equality of life, so the Americans in the family life are fair and free. The husband will not ask their wives to resign at home to take care of the family. Americans don't think the husband must go out to make money and wives need to stay at home all day. Wives can choose to go out to work rather than stay at home to do washing and cooking. But if the husband is willing, the husband can stay at home and choose not to go out to work. Women can also be the focus of the family. This is just a personal will. So in America, it is very casual about who needs to work or stay at home. In addition, the central idea of the American marriage is independent, free and equality of rights. As we all know, in the American family, the divorce rate is very high. They are often combined with their sense of self, so their sense of responsibility to the family is weaker than Chinese. According to Zhu Xiaoying, we know that once husband or wife finds a big problem between them or they think should be separated, they will break up peacefully instead of choosing to live together for considering their children.(Zhu 1992) In the American family, the husband will generally respect the decision of the wife, they don't think couples should obey each other, but have equal rights. Both of them have no right to limit the other. Nobody is the leader in the marriage. So in the United States, there is no rule that says who should stay at home to take care of the children. It is common for a husband to look after children at home. American wives do not feel that their only responsibility is to take care of the family and educate their children. In fact, in the American family, the children are also very independent. The parents don't particularly care for children. They want their children to grow up on their own rather than their parents.

3.2 Different attitudes to education

Chinese have a completely different view of education from the American. The two kinds of parents have completely different ideas. Different educational purposes, contents and methods will produce different educational outcomes. Chinese children and even college students, although their academic performances are better than those from the United States, their character is more negative. They do things more passively and have a strong dependence. Chinese students' interpersonal skills are poor. Besides, they lack the ability to live independently. In a word, Chinese children are short for the ability to adapt to society. In fact, Chinese children have these characteristics because Chinese parents have a great problem on the children’s education. According to Liu Aici, we can get the information that American children have shown that they are positive, calm and brave when they are young.(Liu 2007) They can get along well with other people. They have a great spirit of innovation and a strong ability to live independently. They are especially able to adapt to social life and have strong confidence and courage. In a word, the American children are particularly mature and have a strong ability to live and It is very fast and easy for them to adapt to the society.

First of all, let's talk about the educational values of the Chinese parents. Chinese parents want their children to be successful. If they succeed, they can find a good job to earn a lot of money, so that they have a successful and happy life. Chinese children are sent to school by their parents to learn. It can even be said that the Chinese children from elementary school to high school are kept in the school and not exposed to the outside world. They have countless classes and homework. Their classroom atmosphere is very tense. Most of the time is spent in the classroom. We seldom find Chinese parents allow their children to develop art when they are studying. China's children have little spare time to do their own things. Chinese people think that extra time is a waste of time for students. They let their children learn every day but never cultivate their children's ability to live. Chinese parents seldom praise their children even if they are very good. Unless the children can get the best score, otherwise they will criticize their children all the time. If some children get bad grades, they will be sent to cram in their weekends, which is the only time they can use to relax. For Chinese children, they basically have no holiday before they are in college. Chinese parents are particularly concerned about their children's academic performance. They want their children to be able to concentrate on their studies, regardless of their children's talents. They restrict children's creativity. They rarely consider the children's character. Regardless of parents being rich or poor, they all require their children to study every day. As long as their children can get high marks in the exam, they think their children are good children.

Next, we talk about American parents’ educational values. Let us see what they provide in their children's growth process. American families focus on developing the ability of independent living for children. They pay attention to the children’s exercises. They want their children to be able to achieve their own values and to dig out their whole ability. They do not just hope their chidrens meet a number of goals, such as a higher education and a good job. They don't just need their children have a special success, so they can easily treat their children's education. American parents do not just send their children to school to accept knowledge education. Actually, they pay more attention to family education. American kids sleep on their own. When they were young, parents seldom played with them. When they are a little older, they will have their own independent space. They have been working since their childhood in exchange for the cost of living. After the age of 18, they leave their families to live outside their homes. The American parents also pays special attention to the development of children's culture and aesthetic vision. They cultivate children's interest in learning. They often take their children to a lot of places to let them feel the social environment. They encourage their children to take part in all kinds of artistic activities. They ask their children to touch and experience the nature. What they bring to their children is not only the academic study, but also the learning of all kinds of things. They try to develop their children's skills in all fields. They often encourage and praise their children. As a result, American children have a positive and creative personality.

American parents are not the same to Chinese parents. They do not only care about how many scores that their children get. They care more about what knowledge the children get and how to use these knowledge. They care for the children's ability to live and adapt to the society. They want their children to be earlier and better to adapt to social life.

Chapter 4 Reasons for differences of values

Both China and the United States are a modern society. It is the same for Chinese and Americans to choose to be married to live together and take care of the children. Why are there between China and the United States so many differences. There are many reasons. First of all, it is due to the differences of the cultural backgrounds. China has a long history, and the feudal ideology is deeply rooted. There are many constraints to personal development. The Chinese people have been getting conservative ideas from their birth, so they are short for innovation. As a traditional Chinese, his/her values and rights all have a close connection with the family. They think home is more important than any other. However, the U.S. is only a country of immigrants with only more than 200 years of history. Under the influence of multi culture, Americans are more likely to accept new ideas and culture, so they are able to innovate. While Americans also focus on family, but when they are dealing with family relationships, they feel that personal interests and personal will are the most important and this time family is not so important to them. Americans prefer to work hard for wealth by themselves, to live independently and to develop. So under the two different cultural background, the two countries will inevitably produce different family values.